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Tubara's Guide to Keeping Children Safe Online

Best Practices for Parents (2025 Edition)

Last Updated: November 15, 2025
Written for: Parents and Guardians
Based on: Current UK Government, NSPCC, WHO, AAP, and Common Sense Media Guidelines


Quick Start: The Most Important Things

The 5 Essential Safety Steps:

  1. Talk openly - Have regular conversations about what they see online
  2. Set boundaries - Use screen time limits and parental controls
  3. Stay involved - Know what apps, games, and websites they use
  4. Create safe spaces - Make it easy for them to tell you about problems
  5. Lead by example - Model healthy digital habits yourself

Remember: Your goal isn't to eliminate technology — it's to help your child use it safely and positively.


Table of Contents

  1. Understanding Online Risks
  2. Screen Time Guidelines by Age
  3. Having "The Conversation" About Online Safety
  4. Parental Controls & Technical Safety
  5. Recognizing Warning Signs
  6. What to Do When Something Goes Wrong
  7. Building Digital Literacy Skills
  8. Healthy Digital Habits for Families
  9. Age-Specific Guidance
  10. Resources & Where to Get Help

Understanding Online Risks

What Are We Protecting Against?

The internet is amazing for learning and creativity, but children can face several types of risks:

Content Risks (What They Might See)

  • Inappropriate material: Pornography, violence, disturbing images
  • Harmful content: Information promoting self-harm, suicide, eating disorders
  • Misinformation: Fake news, conspiracy theories, scams
  • Age-inappropriate content: Material meant for older audiences

Source: UK Online Safety Act 2023 identifies these as "primary priority content harmful to children"1

Contact Risks (Who They Might Meet)

  • Strangers with bad intentions: Online predators, groomers
  • Cyberbullying: Mean messages, harassment, exclusion
  • Unwanted contact: Messages from people they don't know
  • Peer pressure: Friends encouraging risky behavior

Source: NSPCC Online Safety Guidance highlights contact risks as major threats2

Conduct Risks (What They Might Do)

  • Sharing too much: Personal information, location, private details
  • Sending images: Nude or semi-nude photos ("sexting")
  • Oversharing: Posts they'll regret later
  • Mean behavior: Cyberbullying others, even unintentionally

Commercial Risks (Money & Privacy)

  • In-app purchases: Spending real money without understanding
  • Data harvesting: Apps collecting information about them
  • Scams: Fake offers, phishing attempts
  • Advertising: Targeted ads manipulating children

The Good News

You can significantly reduce these risks by:

  • Using platforms like Tubara that put parents in control

  • Having ongoing conversations (not just "the talk")

  • Setting up proper safety controls

  • Teaching critical thinking skills

According to Common Sense Media: Children whose parents actively engage with their online lives are 40% less likely to encounter serious online risks3


Screen Time Guidelines by Age

What the Experts Recommend

Different organizations have different guidelines, but here's what leading health authorities say:

Ages 0-18 Months

WHO & AAP Recommendation: No screen time (except video calls with family)

Why: Babies learn through touch, movement, and real human interaction. Screens don't help brain development at this age.

Exception: Video calls with grandparents, deployed parents, or distant family are fine and can be beneficial.

Ages 18-24 Months

WHO & AAP Recommendation: Only high-quality educational content, watched together with a parent

How to do it: - Choose programs designed for toddlers (like Sesame Street)

  • Sit with them and talk about what you're watching

  • Limit to 30 minutes per day maximum

  • Never as background noise

Ages 2-5 Years

WHO & AAP Recommendation: Maximum 1 hour per day of high-quality content4

What "high-quality" means: - Educational programs (PBS Kids, Sesame Street, etc.)

  • Interactive content that teaches (counting, colors, letters)

  • Slow-paced, understandable storylines

  • Content that encourages creativity

Tips for this age: - Watch together and talk about what's happening

  • Connect screen content to real life ("Let's count like Elmo!")

  • Use screen time as a reward, not a babysitter

  • Keep screens out of bedrooms

Ages 6-10 Years

AAP & Common Sense Media Recommendation: 1-2 hours per day for entertainment/recreational screen time5

Important notes:

  • This doesn't include educational screen time for homework

  • Quality matters more than quantity

  • Balance with physical activity, reading, family time

  • Ensure 8-12 hours of sleep (screens off 1 hour before bed)

What counts as screen time:

  • TV, tablets, phones, computers

  • Video games, YouTube, apps

  • Social media (if age-appropriate)

What doesn't count:

  • School homework on devices

  • Reading e-books together

  • Educational video calls with teachers

Ages 11-14 Years

Recommendation: 2-3 hours per day for entertainment6

This age requires more flexibility:

  • They need screens for school more

  • Social connections happen online

  • Focus on WHAT they're doing, not just HOW LONG

The "5 Cs" Approach (American Academy of Pediatrics):

  1. Child: Consider your child's maturity and needs

  2. Content: What are they watching/playing/doing?

  3. Calm: Are screens interfering with sleep or relaxation?

  4. Crowding out: Is screen time replacing exercise, reading, family time?

  5. Communication: Can you talk openly about their online life?

Ages 15-17 Years

Recommendation: Focus on balance, not hours

Why this is different:

  • Teens need autonomy to develop self-regulation

  • Strict time limits often backfire at this age

  • Social connections are crucial for development

Instead of time limits, focus on:

  • Healthy boundaries (no phones during meals, after 10pm)

  • Open conversations about what they do online

  • Recognizing when screen time becomes problematic

  • Encouraging offline activities and hobbies

Screen Time Red Flags (Any Age)

Watch for these signs that screen time might be too much:

  • ❌ Interfering with sleep (using screens late at night)

  • ❌ Replacing physical activity (not playing outside, no exercise)

  • ❌ Causing family conflict (fights about screens daily)

  • ❌ Impacting school performance (grades dropping, homework not done)

  • ❌ Replacing real friendships (no in-person social time)

  • ❌ Causing emotional problems (irritable when screens are taken away)

If you see these signs: Gradually reduce screen time and increase other activities. If problems persist, talk to your pediatrician.


Having "The Conversation" About Online Safety

It's Not Just One Talk — It's Many Conversations

NSPCC research shows: Regular, casual conversations about online life are far more effective than one serious "internet safety talk"7

How to Start Conversations (By Age)

For Ages 3-7: Make It Fun and Simple

Conversation starters:

  • "What's your favorite show/game/video? Can you show me?"

  • "If something makes you feel scared or confused online, you can always tell me. You won't be in trouble."

  • "Online friends are different from real friends. Real friends we can hug!"

Topics to cover:

  • Some things are private (never share our address or phone number)

  • Pictures of ourselves stay in our family

  • Tell a grown-up if you see something yucky or scary

  • If someone asks you to keep a secret from Mom/Dad, tell us right away

NSPCC Tip: Use everyday moments - when they're watching something, ask questions like "How do you think that character feels?" to start discussions about online content8

For Ages 8-11: Build Critical Thinking

Conversation starters:

  • "What apps are your friends using? What do you think about them?"

  • "Have you ever seen anything online that didn't seem true?"

  • "If someone was mean to you online, how would you handle it?"

Topics to cover:

  • Not everything online is true (teach fact-checking)

  • Once you share something, it can't be taken back

  • Cyberbullying is real bullying - tell us if it happens

  • Private information includes your school name, sports team, where you hang out

  • It's okay to block or ignore people who make you uncomfortable

Common Sense Media Approach: Ask them to teach YOU about an app or game they like. This opens dialogue without feeling like an interrogation9

For Ages 12-14: Respect & Responsibility

Conversation starters:

  • "I saw a news story about [online issue]. Has anything like that happened to anyone you know?"

  • "What would you do if someone asked you for a photo you weren't comfortable sending?"

  • "How do you think influencers make money? Why do they want you to buy stuff?"

Topics to cover:

  • Digital reputation matters (future employers/colleges might see posts)

  • Sexting is illegal for anyone under 18, even between teens

  • Recognizing manipulation and grooming behavior

  • How algorithms work (why you see certain content)

  • The pressure of likes, followers, and online popularity

  • Healthy relationships (online and offline)

NSPCC "Underwear Rule" for older kids: No one should ask you to send pictures of parts your swimsuit covers. If they do, tell a trusted adult immediately10

For Ages 15-17: Partner in Digital Citizenship

Conversation starters:

  • "What do you think about [current online trend]?"

  • "How do you decide what's real news versus fake news?"

  • "What would you do if you saw someone being bullied online?"

Topics to cover:

  • Consent in digital spaces (for images, information, relationships)

  • Mental health impacts of social media

  • Recognizing unhealthy relationships online

  • Your digital footprint lasts forever

  • Being an upstander (not a bystander) when others are harmed

  • AI and deepfakes - what's real?

Creating a Safe Space for Conversations

The NSPCC's "Golden Rules" for talking about online safety:11

  1. Stay calm: Even if they tell you something alarming, take a breath before responding

  2. Listen more than you talk: Let them explain in their own words

  3. Don't blame: If something bad happened, focus on fixing it, not punishing them

  4. Be curious, not suspicious: "Tell me about that app" not "Why are you always on that app?!"

  5. Validate their feelings: "That sounds really stressful" before jumping to solutions

  6. Follow through: If you say you'll help, actually help

Common Sense Media's approach: Talk "with" them, not "at" them. Make it a conversation, not a lecture12

Conversation Timing Tips

Best times to talk:

  • ✅ During car rides (side-by-side is less confrontational)

  • ✅ While cooking together

  • ✅ During commercial breaks or while watching TV together

  • ✅ At bedtime (kids often open up when lights are low)

  • ✅ While walking the dog or going for a walk

Worst times to talk:

  • ❌ Right after taking devices away

  • ❌ When they're already upset about something else

  • ❌ When you're angry or emotional

  • ❌ In front of siblings or friends (embarrassing!)

The "No Judgment" Promise

Make this promise and keep it:

"You can always tell me if something happens online that makes you uncomfortable, scared, or confused. You might get upset, but I'll never be angry AT YOU for telling me. We'll figure it out together."

Why this matters: UK research shows that 40% of children don't tell parents about online problems because they fear losing device privileges13


Parental Controls & Technical Safety

The Three Layers of Protection

Think of online safety like home security - you need multiple layers:

  1. Network level: Router/WiFi controls (whole home protection)

  2. Device level: Settings on phones, tablets, computers

  3. App/Service level: Controls within specific apps and platforms

Layer 1: Network-Level Controls (Router/WiFi)

What this does: Filters content for every device connected to your home WiFi

How to set it up:

  1. Access your router settings

  2. Type your router's IP address into a web browser (usually 192.168.1.1 or 192.168.0.1)

  3. Login (username and password are often on the router itself)

  4. Enable parental controls or "Family Shield"

  5. Different brands call it different things

  6. Usually found under "Parental Controls" or "Security" settings

  7. Set filtering level

  8. Most routers offer: Child, Teen, Adult filtering

  9. Start strict, loosen gradually as your child matures

Popular router parental control options:

  • Sky Broadband Shield: Built-in filtering for Sky customers (UK)

  • BT Parental Controls: Free for BT broadband customers (UK)

  • OpenDNS Family Shield: Free service, works with any router

  • Circle with Disney: Device you add to your network (paid)

Pros: Covers ALL devices on your WiFi

Cons: Doesn't work when kids are on mobile data or other WiFi networks

Layer 2: Device-Level Controls

For iPhones and iPads (iOS)

Screen Time Settings:

  1. Go to Settings > Screen Time

  2. Turn on Screen Time and set up Family Sharing

  3. Key features to enable:

  4. Downtime: Blocks apps during certain hours (like bedtime)

  5. App Limits: Set time limits per app category

  6. Communication Limits: Control who they can contact

  7. Content & Privacy Restrictions:

    • Block explicit content
    • Prevent app downloads without approval
    • Disable in-app purchases
    • Restrict web content
  8. Set a Screen Time Passcode (don't use your device unlock code - make it different!)

Additional iOS safety features:

  • Location Sharing: Track their device location (with their knowledge)

  • Find My: Locate lost devices

  • App Store restrictions: Require approval for downloads

  • Siri restrictions: Limit what Siri can access

Apple Guide: https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT201304

For Android Phones and Tablets

Google Family Link:

  1. Download Google Family Link app on YOUR phone

  2. Download Family Link for children on THEIR device

  3. Follow setup to link accounts

  4. Key features:

  5. App approvals: Must approve every app download

  6. Screen time limits: Daily limits and bedtime schedules

  7. Location tracking: See where their device is

  8. Web filtering: Block inappropriate websites on Chrome

  9. Activity reports: See what apps they use most

Additional Android features:

  • Google SafeSearch: Filter explicit content from search results

  • YouTube Kids: Separate app with curated content

  • Play Store content ratings: Set age-appropriate app filtering

Google Guide: https://families.google.com/familylink

For Windows PCs

Microsoft Family Safety:

  1. Go to https://account.microsoft.com/family

  2. Add your child's Microsoft account

  3. Enable:

  4. Screen time limits: Set daily time limits

  5. Content filters: Block inappropriate websites and apps

  6. App and game restrictions: Approve before installation

  7. Activity reporting: See what they're doing

Additional Windows features:

  • Edge browser SafeSearch: Force safe search on

  • Xbox parental controls: For gaming content

For Mac Computers

Screen Time on macOS:

  1. System Settings > Screen Time

  2. Set up Family Sharing with your child's Apple ID

  3. Enable:

  4. Downtime: No computer during certain hours

  5. App limits: Time limits by category

  6. Content & Privacy: Block websites and content types

  7. Communication limits: Control who they can message

Layer 3: App-Specific Controls

YouTube and YouTube Kids

For younger children (under 8), use YouTube Kids:

  • Download separate YouTube Kids app

  • Choose age group: Preschool (4 and under), Younger (5-7), or Older (8-12)

  • Enable "Approved Content Only" mode

  • Manually approve every channel (like Tubara does!)

For older children on regular YouTube:

  • Turn on Restricted Mode (filters mature content)

  • Disable autoplay (prevents rabbit holes)

  • Turn off search (if possible with age-gated restrictions)

  • Review Watch History regularly

Better option: Use Tubara where YOU control every channel they can access

Social Media (For Teens 13+)

Instagram:

  • Set account to Private

  • Disable Location Services

  • Turn off Activity Status

  • Enable Restrict mode for bullies (they won't know they're restricted)

  • Set up Parental Supervision tools

TikTok:

  • Enable Family Pairing (link your account to theirs)

  • Set Screen Time limits through Family Pairing

  • Enable Restricted Mode

  • Make account Private

  • Disable Duets and Stitches from strangers

Snapchat:

  • Enable Ghost Mode (hide location)

  • Set Who Can... settings to "Friends Only"

  • Disable Quick Add feature

  • Review Snap Map settings

General social media rule: Private accounts, friends-only sharing, location off

Layer 4: Platform-Specific Safety (Tubara)

Why Tubara is different from these controls:

  • YOU approve every single channel (not algorithms)

  • No ads, ever

  • No comments section

  • No external links

  • Privacy-enhanced YouTube embedding (no tracking)

  • Screen time tracking built-in

  • Age-appropriate filtering automatically applied

Think of it as: The difference between locking your child in a padded room (restrictive parental controls) versus giving them a safe playground you've inspected (Tubara).

Testing Your Safety Setup

Once you've set everything up, test it:

  1. Try accessing inappropriate content
  2. Search for adult content - should be blocked
  3. Try to download an unapproved app - should require password

  4. Check during restricted hours

  5. During "bedtime" or "school time" - apps should be blocked
  6. Make sure they can still make emergency calls!

  7. Review settings together

  8. Show your child the controls you've set up
  9. Explain WHY (safety, not punishment)
  10. Make adjustments based on their maturity

When to Adjust Controls

Loosen controls when:

  • They consistently follow rules

  • They come to you with problems

  • They demonstrate good judgment

  • They're approaching the next age milestone

Tighten controls when:

  • Rules are repeatedly broken

  • You discover hidden apps or accounts

  • School performance drops

  • Warning signs of problematic use appear

UK Online Safety Act Note: As of July 2025, many platforms are legally required to offer age-appropriate safety features. If you don't see good parental controls, the platform might not be appropriate for children14


Recognizing Warning Signs

Physical & Behavioral Warning Signs

Your child might be experiencing online problems if you notice:

Screen Time Behavior Changes

  • ⚠️ Secretive about devices: Quickly closing apps when you walk in, deleting history

  • ⚠️ Emotional reactions: Getting very upset when you ask to see their phone

  • ⚠️ Sleep disruption: Up very late on devices, tired during the day

  • ⚠️ Withdrawal: Isolating in their room with devices more than usual

Mood & Emotional Changes

  • ⚠️ Anxiety or depression: Especially after using devices or social media

  • ⚠️ Irritability: Angry or upset when asked to put devices away

  • ⚠️ Low self-esteem: Sudden concerns about appearance or popularity

  • ⚠️ Fear of missing out (FOMO): Constantly checking for updates, notifications

Social Changes

  • ⚠️ Avoiding friends: Stopping in-person hangouts, only online contact

  • ⚠️ School problems: Grades dropping, conflicts with teachers or peers

  • ⚠️ New "friends": Talking about people you've never met in real life

  • ⚠️ Changed personality: Acting differently, using new language or slang

Physical Changes

  • ⚠️ Headaches or eye strain: From too much screen time

  • ⚠️ Weight changes: Eating more/less, lack of physical activity

  • ⚠️ Posture problems: Hunched over devices

  • ⚠️ Sleep problems: Can't fall asleep, nightmares

NSPCC Guidance: One or two signs don't necessarily mean a serious problem, but multiple signs together warrant a caring conversation15

Specific Risk Warning Signs

Cyberbullying Signs

  • Suddenly stops using devices they loved

  • Appears upset or distressed after going online

  • Withdraws from family or friends

  • Reluctant to attend school or social events

  • Unexplained stomachaches or headaches (anxiety symptoms)

If you suspect cyberbullying: Don't take devices away (that punishes the victim). Instead, talk gently and help them document evidence before reporting.

Online Grooming Signs (Sexual Predators)

  • ⚠️ New online "friend" who seems too interested

  • ⚠️ Secretive about messages or online conversations

  • ⚠️ Receiving gifts or money from someone online

  • ⚠️ Using sexual language they didn't know before

  • ⚠️ Asking for privacy to chat with someone online

  • ⚠️ Having a device or account you didn't give them

CRITICAL: If you suspect grooming, DO NOT CONFRONT THE CHILD ACCUSINGLY. They may be manipulated and feel protective of the groomer. Instead, document evidence and contact CEOP (UK) or NCMEC (US) immediately.

CEOP (UK): CEOP (UK)

Report button: Police Report button

Self-Harm or Suicide Content Exposure

  • Suddenly interested in dark or depressive content

  • Unexplained cuts, burns, or injuries

  • Talking about death, suicide, or feeling hopeless

  • Withdrawing from activities they used to enjoy

  • Giving away possessions

If you suspect this: Take it seriously. Don't dismiss it as "just a phase." Contact your GP, school counsellor, or:

  • Samaritans (UK): 116 123 (24/7)

  • Childline (UK): 0800 1111

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US): 988

  • Crisis Text Line (US): Text HOME to 741741

Inappropriate Content Exposure

  • Acting out sexually inappropriate behavior

  • Using explicit language suddenly

  • Asking questions about adult topics

  • Showing knowledge beyond their age

  • Nightmares or fear of bedtime

NSPCC Advice: If a child sees inappropriate content, stay calm. Reassure them it wasn't their fault, and help them process what they saw in an age-appropriate way16

The "Gut Feeling" Rule

Trust your instincts. If something feels off about your child's online behavior, it probably is. You know your child best.

Don't ignore:

  • A feeling that they're hiding something

  • Noticing they're "different" after being online

  • Unexplained behavior changes

  • Your parental intuition saying something is wrong

What to do: Have a gentle, non-confrontational conversation. "I've noticed you seem upset lately. Is everything okay?" Often that's enough to open the door.


What to Do When Something Goes Wrong

Step 1: Stay Calm and Supportive

First response is critical:

Don't say:

  • "I told you this would happen!"

  • "Why did you do that?!"

  • "You're losing your phone!"

  • "How could you be so stupid?"

Do say:

  • "Thank you for telling me."

  • "You did the right thing coming to me."

  • "We'll figure this out together."

  • "This isn't your fault."

Why this matters: If you react with anger or punishment, they'll never tell you about problems again.

Step 2: Document Everything

Before doing anything else, take screenshots or save evidence:

  • Threatening messages

  • Inappropriate content

  • Profile pages of concerning accounts

  • Timestamps and usernames

  • Any communication that seems wrong

How to take screenshots:

  • iPhone/iPad: Press side button + volume up

  • Android: Press power + volume down

  • PC: Press Windows key + Shift +

  • Mac: Press Shift + Command + 4

Why document: You might need evidence for police, schools, or platforms.

Step 3: Take Immediate Safety Steps

Depending on the situation:

If it's cyberbullying:

  1. Block the person immediately

  2. Report to the platform (use app's report function)

  3. Tell the school (if it involves classmates)

  4. Document everything

  5. Don't retaliate or respond to messages

UK schools are legally required to address cyberbullying that affects education, even if it happens outside school17

If it's a stranger contact/grooming concern:

  1. DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING (police need evidence)

  2. Stop all contact immediately (block the person)

  3. Report to CEOP (UK): CEOP (UK)

  4. Or call police non-emergency: 101 (UK) or local equivalent

  5. Save all messages and evidence

If it's inappropriate content exposure:

  1. Remove them from the situation calmly

  2. Reassure them it's not their fault

  3. Talk about what they saw (age-appropriately)

  4. Report the content to the platform

  5. Consider adjusting parental controls

  6. If content was illegal (child abuse images), report to IWF: report to IWF:

If it's sexting/nude images:

  1. Don't look at or forward the image (that's illegal too)

  2. Tell your child to delete it immediately

  3. If the image is of your child, contact police and Childline

  4. Use "Report Remove" tool: Report Remove

  5. Document who sent it, when, and circumstances

CRITICAL: In the UK, creating, possessing, or distributing sexual images of anyone under 18 is illegal, even if it's a self-taken image. However, police use discretion for underage sexting and focus on education18

Step 4: Report to Appropriate Authorities

Different situations require different reporting:

Situation Who to Contact Contact Info
Cyberbullying School, platform School office, app's report function
Sexual exploitation/grooming CEOP (UK), NCMEC (US) Sexual exploitation/grooming
Sexual exploitation/grooming
Child sexual abuse images Internet Watch Foundation Internet Watch Foundation
Online blackmail/sextortion Police, CEOP 101 (UK non-emergency) or 999 (emergency)
Threats of violence Police immediately 999 (UK), 911 (US)
Selling/buying illegal items Police 101 (UK non-emergency)
Online harassment Platform, police if serious App report + 101
Hate speech/extremism Police, platform 101, app report function

Step 5: Platform-Specific Reporting

How to report on major platforms:

YouTube: - Click the three dots next to the video - Select "Report" - Choose the reason (child safety, harassment, etc.) - YouTube reviews within 24 hours

Instagram: - Tap the three dots on the post/profile - Select "Report" - Follow the prompts

TikTok: - Long-press on the video - Tap "Report" - Select the reason

Snapchat: - Long-press on the message/snap - Select "Report"

Most platforms have a "child safety" reporting option - always choose that for child-related concerns.

Step 6: Support Your Child

After the immediate crisis:

Emotional support:

  • Listen without judgment
  • Validate their feelings ("That sounds really scary")
  • Reassure them about their safety
  • Keep communication open

Practical support:

  • Adjust privacy settings together
  • Review friend lists and followers
  • Change passwords
  • Consider a break from the platform

Professional support (if needed):

  • School counselor
  • GP (can refer to CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)
  • Private therapist
  • Childline counseling: 0800 1111

Step 7: Learn and Prevent

After resolving the situation:

  1. Discuss what happened: Age-appropriate conversation about lessons learned

  2. Adjust controls: Were parental controls too loose? Too strict?

  3. Update family rules: Do digital rules need changing?

  4. Rebuild trust: Gradual return to normal device use with new safeguards

  5. Follow up: Check in regularly about how they're feeling

Special Situation: When Your Child is the Bully

If you discover YOUR child is cyberbullying someone:

  1. Don't defend them automatically

  2. Make them understand the harm (how would they feel?)

  3. Require a sincere apology (in writing)

  4. Consequences: Temporary loss of platforms where bullying occurred

  5. Monitor closely: Rebuild trust gradually

  6. Talk about empathy: Why did they do it? What were they feeling?

  7. Get help if needed: Counseling if this is part of bigger behavior issues

Research shows: Children who cyberbully often have unmet emotional needs or are being bullied themselves19

When to Involve Police

Call police (999 in UK, 911 in US) immediately if:

  • Immediate threat of violence or self-harm

  • Kidnapping or trafficking concerns

  • Meeting someone dangerous in person

  • Child has gone missing after online contact

Call police non-emergency (101 in UK) for:

  • Online grooming

  • Blackmail or extortion

  • Sharing of sexual images of minors

  • Serious harassment or threats

  • Hate crimes

  • Drug selling/buying online

Resources for Support

UK Resources:

  • NSPCC Helpline: 0808 800 5000 (advice for adults)

  • Childline: 0800 1111 (support for children)

  • CEOP: https://www.ceop.police.uk (online child protection)

  • Internet Watch Foundation: https://www.iwf.org.uk (report child sexual abuse content)

  • Report Remove: https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/remove-nude-image-shared-online/

  • The Mix: 0808 808 4994 (support for under-25s)

  • Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 emotional support)

International Resources:

  • NCMEC CyberTipline (US): https://www.cybertipline.org

  • FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (US): https://www.ic3.gov

  • Canadian Centre for Child Protection: https://www.cybertip.ca

  • eSafety Commissioner (Australia): https://www.esafety.gov.au


Building Digital Literacy Skills

Why Digital Literacy Matters

Digital literacy means being able to:

  • Find reliable information online

  • Spot fake news and scams

  • Understand privacy and data

  • Create content responsibly

  • Navigate online relationships safely

Common Sense Media research: Children with strong digital literacy skills are 60% less likely to fall for online scams or misinformation20

Teaching by Age

Ages 3-7: Basic Digital Concepts

Skills to teach: 1. Real vs. Pretend

  • Cartoons are make-believe

  • Ads try to get you to buy things

  • Not everyone online is who they say they are

  • Private vs. Public

  • Some information is just for family (address, phone number)

  • Pictures of you are private

  • Don't tell strangers personal things

  • Kind vs. Mean

  • Be nice online like you are in person

  • If someone is mean, tell an adult

  • Stand up for others (be an upstander)

Activity: Play "Real or Pretend?" with online content. Show them a website or video and ask: "Is this real or someone pretending?"

Ages 8-11: Critical Thinking

Skills to teach: 1. Evaluating Sources

  • Who created this? (Author/source)

  • Why did they create it? (Purpose)

  • Is it trying to sell me something?

  • Can I verify this information elsewhere?

  • Recognizing Persuasion

  • Ads aren't always obvious

  • Influencers get paid to promote products

  • Headlines can be misleading (clickbait)

  • Some websites want your personal information

  • Digital Footprint

  • Everything you post can be seen later

  • Deleting doesn't always mean it's gone

  • Future you might be embarrassed by posts

Activity: Together, fact-check a news story. Show them how to:

  • Check the source website's "About" page

  • Search for the same story on other trusted sites

  • Look for dates (is it old news presented as new?)

  • Check if images are real (reverse image search)

Common Sense Media's "SMELLS" Test for Fake News:21

  • Source: Is it credible?

  • Motivation: Why was it created?

  • Evidence: Is there proof?

  • Language: Is it emotional or balanced?

  • Links: Do they lead to reliable sources?

  • Search: What do other sources say?

Ages 12-14: Media Creation & Responsibility

Skills to teach: 1. Creating Positive Content

  • Think before you post

  • How will this represent you?

  • Is it kind, true, and necessary?

  • Understanding Algorithms

  • Apps show you content to keep you engaged

  • "For You" pages are designed to be addictive

  • You can control what you see (likes, follows, searches)

  • Privacy & Data

  • Apps collect your data to sell ads

  • Terms of Service matter (what are you agreeing to?)

  • Location data reveals where you live

  • Reading privacy policies (simplified versions)

  • Respectful Disagreement

  • You can disagree without being mean

  • Context is lost online (tone doesn't translate)

  • Private conversations stay private

Activity: Create a "Digital Resume" together

  • What does someone see when they Google your child's name?

  • What does their social media say about them?

  • If a college or employer looked, what impression would they get?

  • How can they build a positive online presence?

Ages 15-17: Advanced Digital Citizenship

Skills to teach: 1. Recognizing Manipulation

  • Filter bubbles and echo chambers

  • How misinformation spreads

  • Deepfakes and AI-generated content

  • Propaganda and radicalization

  • Protecting Mental Health

  • Recognizing when social media is harmful

  • Curating feeds mindfully

  • Taking breaks when needed

  • Reality vs. highlight reels

  • Being an Upstander

  • Calling out harmful content respectfully

  • Supporting victims of cyberbullying

  • Reporting concerning content

  • Challenging misinformation

  • Digital Rights & Responsibilities

  • Copyright and fair use

  • Freedom of speech vs. hate speech

  • Online activism and advocacy

  • Civic engagement online

Activity: Analyze their favorite influencer together

  • How do they make money?

  • What products do they promote?

  • What values do they represent?

  • Is this someone worth following/emulating?

Practical Digital Literacy Activities

For All Ages:

"Tech-Free Dinners with Digital Discussion"

  • No phones at the table

  • Talk about: "What was the most interesting thing you saw online today?"

  • Discuss news stories, videos, or trends

  • Practice fact-checking together

"Create Together" Projects

  • Make a family video

  • Build a website about a shared interest

  • Start a blog about family adventures

  • Edit photos together

This teaches them about digital creation, not just consumption.

"Privacy Audit" Game

  • Review privacy settings together

  • See what information apps have collected

  • Practice deleting unused accounts

  • Update passwords (teach good password habits)

"Spot the Scam" Challenge

  • Show them common online scams

  • Teach how to recognize:

  • Too good to be true offers

  • Urgent language ("Act now!")

  • Requests for personal information

  • Suspicious links and attachments

Teaching Password Safety

Age-appropriate password education:

Ages 6-10:

  • Passwords are secret (don't share with friends)

  • Long passwords are stronger than short ones

  • Use different passwords for different things

  • Tell parents if someone asks for your password

Ages 11-14:

  • Create strong passwords: 12+ characters, mix of letters/numbers/symbols

  • Use a password manager (family account)

  • Two-factor authentication for important accounts

  • Never save passwords on shared devices

Ages 15-17:

  • Understanding password breaches

  • Checking if passwords have been compromised haveibeenpwned

  • Managing their own password manager

  • Recognizing phishing attempts

Digital Literacy Resources

Free Resources for Parents:

School Resources: - Ask if your child's school uses:

  • Common Sense Media's Digital Citizenship Curriculum

  • Google's Be Internet Awesome

  • Think U Know resources

  • Volunteer to help teach digital literacy at school!


Healthy Digital Habits for Families

Creating a Family Media Plan

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends every family create a Family Media Plan22

What to include:

  1. Screen-Free Zones
  2. Bedrooms (no screens where kids sleep)
  3. Dining table (meals are family time)
  4. Car rides (unless long trips)

  5. Screen-Free Times

  6. First hour after waking up
  7. Last hour before bed
  8. During homework (except when needed for assignments)
  9. During family activities

  10. Content Guidelines

  11. Age-appropriate content only
  12. Educational content prioritized
  13. Co-viewing younger children's content
  14. Discussing content with older children

  15. Behavior Expectations

  16. Be kind online
  17. Ask before posting about others
  18. Tell parents about problems
  19. No devices during conversations

  20. Balance Requirements

  21. Must complete homework first
  22. Physical activity daily (WHO recommends 60 minutes for kids23)
  23. Reading time
  24. Family time
  25. Sleep requirements (8-12 hours depending on age)

Create your plan together: Healthy Children

The Importance of Sleep

Screen time's biggest enemy: Good sleep Blue light from screens:

  • Tricks the brain into thinking it's daytime

  • Suppresses melatonin (sleep hormone)

  • Makes it harder to fall asleep

  • Reduces sleep quality

WHO & AAP recommendations:24

  • Ages 3-5: 10-13 hours per night

  • Ages 6-12: 9-12 hours per night

  • Ages 13-18: 8-10 hours per night

Sleep hygiene rules:

  • No screens 1 hour before bedtime

  • Charge devices outside bedrooms

  • Use night mode/blue light filters if screens necessary

  • Consistent bedtimes

  • Dark, cool bedrooms

Parenting tip: Make the last hour before bed "family connection time" - reading, talking, quiet games. No screens for ANYONE (parents included!).

Modeling Good Behavior

Children learn from watching you.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • Am I on my phone during family meals?

  • Do I check my phone while talking to my child?

  • Am I scrolling instead of playing with them?

  • Do I follow the same screen-time rules I set for them?

NSPCC research: Children whose parents model good digital habits are 3x more likely to develop healthy relationships with technology25

Practical tips for parents:

  1. Put your phone away during family time (really away, not just face-down)

  2. Tell your child when you need to use your phone: "I need to send this work email, I'll be 5 minutes, then we'll play"

  3. Show them YOUR limits: "I'm putting my phone in this basket during dinner too"

  4. Talk about YOUR challenges: "I've been on Instagram too much today, I'm taking a break"

Physical Activity & Outdoor Time

Balance screen time with green time

WHO guidelines for children:26

  • At least 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity daily

  • Outdoor time important for:

  • Vitamin D

  • Eye health (prevents myopia/near-sightedness)

  • Mental wellbeing

  • Social development

Ideas to reduce screens, increase activity:

  • Walk or bike to school

  • After-school sports or clubs

  • Family walks after dinner

  • Park playgrounds on weekends

  • Active video games (Pokémon Go, Ring Fit) don't count as full physical activity!

"1:1 Rule": For every hour of screen time, match it with an hour of physical activity

Family Connection Without Screens

Activities that build stronger bonds than any video:

Daily connection (15-30 minutes):

  • Family meals (proper sit-down, no TV)

  • Bedtime reading or talking

  • Walking the dog together

  • Playing board games

  • Cooking together

Weekly connection (1-2 hours):

  • Family game night

  • Movie night (but watch TOGETHER and discuss after)

  • Sports or outdoor activities

  • Arts and crafts projects

  • Volunteering together

Monthly connection (half day/full day):

  • Family outings (museums, parks, beaches)

  • Day trips

  • Special family traditions

  • Celebrating milestones

Research shows: Families who eat meals together 5+ times per week have children with:

  • Better academic performance

  • Lower risk of substance abuse

  • Better mental health

  • Stronger family relationships27


Age-Specific Guidance

Ages 3-5: Foundation Years

Developmental needs:

  • Learning through play and imagination

  • Developing language and social skills

  • Building attention span

  • Understanding basic rules

Best practices:

  • ✅ Co-view everything

  • ✅ Choose interactive educational content

  • ✅ Limit to 1 hour per day maximum

  • ✅ No screens during meals or before bed

  • ✅ Use screens as a tool, not a babysitter

  • ✅ Balance with plenty of physical play

Red flags at this age:

  • Tantrums when screens are removed

  • Preferring screens to playing with toys or people

  • No interest in books or outdoor play

  • Speech delays (screens can contribute)

Recommended content:

  • Tubara with parent-approved educational channels

  • Interactive learning apps

Ages 6-8: Early Independence

Developmental needs:

  • Learning to read and write

  • Developing friendships

  • Understanding rules and consequences

  • Growing independence

Best practices:

  • ✅ 1-2 hours screen time for entertainment

  • ✅ Teach basic internet safety (don't share personal info)

  • ✅ Introduce "kind vs. mean" online behavior

  • ✅ Begin teaching critical thinking about content

  • ✅ Supervise but allow some choice in content

  • ✅ Use parental controls on all devices

Red flags at this age:

  • Secretive behavior with devices

  • Fear of missing out (FOMO)

  • Comparing themselves to others online

  • Obsessive gaming or video watching

Recommended content:

  • Tubara with expanded age-appropriate channels

  • Educational YouTube channels (approved by you)

  • Age-appropriate games (Minecraft, Roblox with strict parental controls)

  • Learning apps for reading and math

Social media: Not ready yet - most platforms require age 13+

Ages 9-11: Digital Natives

Developmental needs:

  • Peer relationships become very important

  • Desire for independence and privacy

  • Critical thinking develops

  • Awareness of social issues

Best practices:

  • ✅ 2 hours screen time for entertainment (more for homework)

  • ✅ Have regular conversations about online experiences

  • ✅ Teach about digital footprint and reputation

  • ✅ Introduce fact-checking and media literacy

  • ✅ Discuss peer pressure and "FOMO"

  • ✅ Prepare them for social media (even though they shouldn't use it yet)

Red flags at this age:

  • Excessive worry about likes or followers (even without social media)

  • Comparing themselves to influencers

  • Friend drama moving online

  • Interest in inappropriate content

Social media readiness:

  • Most platforms require age 13 (for legal reasons - COPPA)

  • Even at 11, they're not emotionally ready

  • Peer pressure will be intense ("everyone has TikTok!")

  • Stand firm: "When you're 13 and we both feel ready"

Recommended activities:

  • Research projects online (with guidance)

  • Creative content creation (videos, art, writing)

  • Coding and programming (Scratch, Code.org)

  • Educational gaming with friends

Ages 12-14: Early Adolescence

Developmental needs:

  • Identity formation (who am I?)

  • Peer acceptance is crucial

  • Risk-taking behavior increases

  • Emotional regulation still developing

Best practices:

  • ✅ Flexible screen time focused on balance

  • ✅ Social media introduction (with parental supervision)

  • ✅ Regular check-ins about online friendships

  • ✅ Teach about privacy, consent, and reputation

  • ✅ Discuss mental health impacts of social media

  • ✅ Respect privacy but maintain awareness

Introducing social media safely:

  1. Start with one platform (not all at once)

  2. Set it up together (review all privacy settings)

  3. Private account only

  4. Follow/friend them (yes, they'll complain)

  5. Discuss expectations before they post anything

  6. Regular check-ins (not surveillance, but awareness)

Red flags at this age:

  • Dramatic mood swings related to social media

  • Obsessive posting or checking

  • Comparing themselves negatively to others

  • Signs of cyberbullying (either victim or perpetrator)

  • Seeking validation through likes/followers

  • Sneaking devices after bedtime

Important conversations:

  • Digital consent (sharing photos of others)

  • Sexting risks and legal consequences

  • Recognizing manipulation and grooming

  • Mental health and social media

  • Real vs. curated lives online

Ages 15-17: Late Adolescence

Developmental needs:

  • Autonomy and independence

  • Identity consolidation

  • Future planning (college, career)

  • Complex relationships

Best practices:

  • ✅ Focus on balance, not time limits

  • ✅ Treat them as partners in digital citizenship

  • ✅ Discuss current events and online issues

  • ✅ Support healthy relationship with technology

  • ✅ Respect privacy (while maintaining trust)

  • ✅ Help them build positive online presence

Transitioning to independence:

  • Gradual removal of restrictions

  • Based on demonstrated responsibility

  • Natural consequences for poor choices

  • Open dialogue about challenges

Red flags at this age:

  • Social media negatively impacting mental health

  • Online relationships replacing real ones

  • Sexting or sharing intimate images

  • Extreme views from online echo chambers

  • Gambling or inappropriate purchases online

  • Signs of online addiction

Important conversations:

  • College/career digital footprint

  • Online reputation management

  • Consent in digital relationships

  • Recognizing toxic online environments

  • Media literacy and misinformation

  • Digital wellbeing and mental health

Preparing for adulthood:

  • By 17, they should be largely self-regulating

  • You're transitioning from enforcer to advisor

  • If they're going to college, they'll have unlimited access

  • Better they learn healthy habits now, with your guidance


Resources & Where to Get Help

Emergency Contacts

Immediate Danger (UK):

  • Police: 999

  • Ambulance: 999

  • Childline: 0800 1111 (24/7)

  • Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7)

Immediate Danger (USA):

  • Police/Ambulance: 911

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

  • National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: 1-800-843-5678

Reporting Online Abuse

UK Resources:

International Resources:

Information & Support Organizations

UK Organizations:

  • NSPCC: NSPCC

  • Helpline: 0808 800 5000

  • Comprehensive online safety guides for parents

  • Internet Matters: Internet Matters

  • Age-specific guides

  • Device setup instructions

  • Conversation starters

  • Childnet International: Childnet International

  • Resources for children, parents, and educators

  • UK Safer Internet Centre: UK Safer Internet Centre

  • Annual Safer Internet Day resources

  • Parent guides and helpline

  • Parent Zone: Parent Zone

  • Digital parenting advice

  • Parentinfo: Parent Zone

  • NSPCC and Parent Zone collaboration

International Organizations:

  • Common Sense Media (USA): Common Sense Media (USA)

  • App/game/movie reviews

  • Age-based ratings

  • Digital citizenship curriculum

  • Family Media Plan creator

  • ConnectSafely (USA): ConnectSafely

  • Platform-specific guides

  • Current trend information

  • Internet Keep Safe Coalition: Internet Keep Safe Coalition

  • Resources for parents and educators

Mental Health Support

UK Mental Health Resources:

  • YoungMinds: YoungMinds
  • Parents helpline: 0808 802 5544
  • Crisis Messenger: Text YM to 85258

  • CAMHS (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services): Access through GP

  • The Mix: The Mix UK

  • Support for under-25s
  • Phone: 0808 808 4994

  • Papyrus (Suicide Prevention): Papyrus (Suicide Prevention UK)

  • Helpline: 0800 068 4141

USA Mental Health Resources:

Platform-Specific Guides

Detailed Safety Guides:

  • NSPCC Net Aware: NSPCC Net Aware UK

  • Individual guides for 50+ apps/platforms

  • Updated regularly

  • Common Sense Media Reviews: Common Sense Media Reviews

  • Reviews of thousands of apps, games, websites

  • Age ratings and content details

Privacy & Settings Help:

Educational Resources

Digital Literacy Curricula:

  • Common Sense Education: Common Sense Education

  • Free K-12 digital citizenship curriculum

  • Used by 88,000+ schools

  • Google's Be Internet Awesome: Google's Be Internet Awesome

  • Games and activities for children

  • Family guides

  • Think U Know: Think U Know

  • Age-specific resources (4-5, 6-7, 8-10, 11-13, 14+)

  • Videos, activities, conversations starters

Parent Training:

Government Resources

UK Government:

  • UK Safer Internet Centre: UK Safer Internet Centre

  • Report Harmful Content helpline: 0844 381 4772

  • Ofcom: Ofcom

  • Information about Online Safety Act

  • Parents' guide to protection measures

  • Department for Education: Department for Education

  • Teaching resources

  • School guidance

USA Government:

Books for Parents

Recommended Reading:

  • "The Digital Wellness Lab" by Ana Homayoun

  • "Screenwise" by Devorah Heitner

  • "Raising Humans in a Digital World" by Diana Graber

  • "The Art of Screen Time" by Anya Kamenetz

  • "Disconnected" by Tom Kersting

Books for Children

Age 6-10:

  • "Chicken Clicking" by Jeanne Willis

  • "Dot." by Randi Zuckerberg

  • "Doug Unplugs" by Dan Yaccarino

Age 11-14:

  • "Fake" by Donna Cooner

  • "Be Internet Awesome with Google" (activity book)

  • "A Kids Book About the Internet" by Ben Terrett

Tubara-Specific Resources

Within Tubara:

  • Built-in analytics dashboard (track viewing patterns)

  • Age-appropriate filtering (automatic)

  • Parental password protection

  • Screen time limits and tracking

  • Channel approval workflow

How Tubara Supports Best Practices:

  • ✅ Parent approval required for all content (not algorithms)

  • ✅ No advertisements or tracking

  • ✅ Privacy-enhanced embedding (no data to YouTube)

  • ✅ No comments, no social features

  • ✅ No external links children can click

  • ✅ Built-in screen time awareness

  • ✅ Educational focus

Tubara Support:

  • Email: support@tubara.world

  • Documentation: https://www.tubara.world/help

  • Parent community: [Coming soon]


Final Thoughts: You've Got This

The Balancing Act

Being a parent in the digital age is hard. You're navigating technology that didn't exist when you were a child. There's no perfect manual, and you're going to make mistakes. That's okay.

Remember: - ✅ You don't need to understand every app perfectly

  • ✅ You don't need to monitor every second online

  • ✅ You don't need to eliminate all risk

  • ✅ You DO need to stay involved and keep talking

Your Goal: Prepare, Not Protect Forever

Think of it like teaching them to cross the street:

  • When they're little, you hold their hand

  • As they grow, you stand beside them and guide

  • Eventually, they cross alone - but you've taught them how

Digital safety is the same:

  • Start with strict supervision

  • Gradually give more freedom

  • Teach decision-making skills

  • Step back as they demonstrate maturity

  • Be there when they need help

Trust Your Instincts

You know your child better than any guideline, expert, or app.

  • If something feels wrong, investigate.

  • If a platform doesn't feel right, trust that feeling.

  • If your child isn't ready, don't give in to peer pressure.

  • If you make a mistake, apologize and adjust.

The Most Important Thing

Connection matters more than control.

A child who feels:

  • ✅ Safe telling you about problems

  • ✅ Comfortable asking questions

  • ✅ Respected and heard

  • ✅ Loved unconditionally

...is far safer than a child with every parental control turned on but no open communication.

You're Not Alone

Millions of parents are navigating the same challenges. Reach out:

  • Parent groups at school

  • Online parenting communities

  • Friends with kids the same age

  • Professional support when needed

Keep Learning

Technology changes rapidly. What's popular today might be gone tomorrow, and something new will emerge.

Stay current:

  • Follow reputable online safety organizations

  • Ask your child what's new

  • Attend school digital safety workshops

  • Read updated guidance annually

But remember: The core principles don't change:

  • Open communication

  • Critical thinking

  • Balance and moderation

  • Kindness and respect

  • Privacy protection


References

  1. UK Parliament (2023). Online Safety Act 2023. Available at:UK Parliament

  2. NSPCC (2024). Online Safety Guidance. Available at:NSPCC

  3. Common Sense Media (2024). The Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens. Available at: Common Sense Media

  4. World Health Organization (2019). Guidelines on physical activity, sedentary behaviour and sleep for children under 5 years of age. Available at: World Health Organization (201

  5. American Academy of Pediatrics (2024). Family Media Plan. Available at:American Academy of Pediatrics

  6. Children's Hospital Los Angeles (2024). Screen Time Guidelines for Kids of Every Age. Available at:Children's Hospital Los Angeles

  7. NSPCC (2024). Talking to your child about online safety. Available at: NSPCC

  8. NSPCC (2024). Kids' Safety Net Campaign Resources. Available at: NSPCC

  9. Common Sense Media (2025). Digital Literacy & Well-Being Curriculum. Available at:Common Sense Media

  10. NSPCC (2024). The Underwear Rule. Available at: NSPCC

  11. NSPCC (2024). How to have difficult conversations. Available at: NSPCC

  12. Common Sense Media (2024). Parent Conversation Starters. Available at:Common Sense Media

  13. Ofcom (2024). Children's Media Lives Study. Available at: Ofcom

  14. Ofcom (2025). Protection of Children Codes of Practice. Available at: Ofcom

  15. NSPCC (2024). Signs a child is being abused online. Available at: Ofcom

  16. NSPCC (2024). If your child sees something inappropriate online. Available at: Ofcom

  17. Department for Education (2025). Keeping children safe in education. Available at: Department for Education

  18. UK Government (2023). Sexting in schools and colleges. Available at: UK Government

  19. NSPCC Learning (2024). Bullying and cyberbullying. Available at: NSPCC

  20. Common Sense Media (2025). Media Literacy Education Works. Available at: Common Sense Media

  21. Common Sense Education (2024). News and Media Literacy Resources. Available at: Common Sense Education

  22. American Academy of Pediatrics (2024). Family Media Use Plan. Available at: American Academy of Pediatrics

  23. World Health Organization (2020). Physical activity. Available at: World Health Organization

  24. American Academy of Sleep Medicine (2024). Recommended Amount of Sleep for Pediatric Populations. Available at: American Academy of Sleep Medicine

  25. NSPCC (2024). Digital Parenting Research. Available at: NSPCC

  26. World Health Organization (2020). WHO guidelines on physical activity and sedentary behaviour. Available at:World Health Organization

  27. Harvard Graduate School of Education (2023). The Family Dinner Project. Available at: The Family Dinner Project

  28. Australian Government e-Safety Commissioner e-Safety Commissioner

  29. Canadian Government Resources to keep children safe online

  30. Canadian Government Protect Kids On Line.CA


Document Prepared By: Tubara Child Safety Team

With information from: NSPCC, Common Sense Media, Internet Matters, UK Safer Internet Centre et al.

Last Updated: November 15, 2025

Next Review: February 2026

Questions or Feedback? Email us at safety@tubara.world


Remember: Technology is a tool. Your relationship with your child is what keeps them truly safe.